It's Okay Not to Be Okay.

I just said the title in my head really weirdly

but uhm I haven’t been on in a while so

hey

you can vent on tumblr without being judged haha but no, God is just so amazing and I had to share it somehow!

So I’ve definitely been dealing with some stuff the last 4 months. Some stuff that I really didn’t have to deal with, but I put my emotions ahead of my LOGICS, and voila, here I am. But anyways, thoughts of whether I’m “good enough” have been taking over my mind. Like I would examine myself and try and figure out what was wrong with me. I would try and change myself into that person I was told I should be. Someone who wasn’t me. And you know what? I began to compromise. I began to compromise what I believe and who I really am. There’s a song called “Slow Fade” by Casting Crowns, and there’s a line that says “be careful little ears what you hear, when flatter leads to compromise, the end is always near.”……(HOLY COW, THE SONG JUST CAME ON THE RADIO I KID YOU NOT, RIGHT AS I WAS TYPING THAT. I’M TELLING YA’LL, GOD IS JUST SO AWESOME.) 

….no but really. what are the odds of that song coming on the radio right as I was typing those lyrics?!? OMG.

ANYWAYS. I just identify with that song so well because flatter lead to compromise for me.  I only had THOUGHTS of compromise though. But I’m telling you, thoughts lead into actions. Thankfully God pulled me out of a dangerous situation, but it left me absolutely broken. Well maybe I’m exaggerating just a little, but it hurt A LOT. And I began to just pull away from everyone and everything….including the person that loves me the most: God. I like to be perky and optimistic, etc. but sometimes I just couldn’t fake it….I felt like trash. Always. And I was bitter and caustic towards a lot of people and it was just bad. 

But a while back, I was asked to lead worship at CFBC’s girl’s conference called “Stunning” and it really changed my life sort of? It encouraged me, reaaal t. Basically it was about how God sees us as precious jewels made by HIS hand. And frankly, if a guy can’t see how much of a jewel you are, tell him you’ll catch him on the flip side. And we also talked about personalities, and modesty, and how we don’t need to do anything to alter our natural beauty. It was just so awesome. And getting to lead those girls into worship? Such an honor. I left there with such a joy in my heart that I honestly haven’t felt in like over a year. I just find it so funny because when I was asked to sing back in December, I certainly didn’t know all the things I would be dealing with now, but guess who did? God did. He knew EXACTLY what I’d be going through, so He placed me in that church today for a reason. To help heal my heart. 

I’m so grateful for a Heavenly Father that loves me so much. People try to fill their lives with so much crap, crap that only gives you temporary relief. But it’s the love of God that NEVER fails and never gives up on you no matter what. Just test it and see.

spring break.

all it does is mess with your head.

you wake up every morning feeling absolutely fabulous. 

…and before you know it….it’s Monday again.

SUMMER COME QUICKLY.

does anyone else sometimes feel like you’re not feel good enough?

talented enough?

pretty enough?

smart enough?

strong enough?

I often find myself wondering those things but almost immediately I remember that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)

I am made in the likeness and image of God. (Genesis 1:26)

& I have the mind of Christ. (1 Corinthians 2:16)

Scriptural evidence alone makes all the doubt go away. We’re all children of God, therefore we have nothing to worry or fret about!